Date Auction
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: The Cultural Festival is here! It is a day of fun filled activities that go far into the night. But in order to fund such antics, sacrifices must be made. And that is how Weiss Schnee was auctioned off to Jaune Arc.


**Summary: **_The Cultural Festival is here! It is a day of fun filled activities that go far into the night. But in order to fund such antics, sacrifices must be made. And that is how Weiss Schnee was auctioned off to Jaune Arc._

_**Author's Notes:**_ _VOTE FOR MY FIC ON THE r/RWBY MONTHLY CONTEST, Beloved Cooking. Instructions at that bottom._

_;_;7_

**Thanks to:**_ narutochaos22 for editing and being a bro._

**Date Auction**

**RWBY**

_Written from the perspective of Weiss Schnee_

* * *

><p>"<em>You sold me out<em>!"

Yang trembled before me, my fury unabated. By the scruffs of her jacket, I held her up against the dorm room wall slamming her back again and again to it. It was quite the feat, considering she's a head taller than me. Pictures fell from their frames. Books were knocked off their shelves. This woman had committed treason against me; it was a betrayal that warranted no pardon.

This woman had me _auctioned_.

"H-Hey, it's for a good cause! We needed to fundraise for the Cultural Festival s-so-"

"So you sold me out!? You sold me off like I'm cattle? What? Am I to wear a pretty white dress and stand there while men gawk at me and throw money for a chance to speak to me? No. Are they throwing money just so they can say they had the pleasure of courting a Schnee?" This was a grievous insult to my honor, my pride, my womanhood. I had standards unlike the scantily clad blonde bimbo before me twiddling her thumbs together like a child caught stealing a god damn cookie from a god damn cookie jar.

I wonder if Ruby had anything to do with this.

"S-sorry? We really needed the money."

"You realize my weekly allowance could fund ten Cultural Festivals, right?"

Silence.

My nostrils flared. "_Right_?"

"It… kind of slipped my mind…" Her voice trailed off. Guilty.

I refused the temptation to slam her head against the wall again. Lord knows she needs what little brain cells she has left.

I breathed in. "Who. Bought. Me?"

Yang laughed nervously.

"Oh you're going to love this…"

The funny thing about saying that is that you never do end up loving it. Funny that.

Our father who art in heaven. I've been a good girl all my life. I've never asked for anything in return. Never, except for now. By the grace of thunder and storms please just strike me dead now.

Let it be known Weiss Schnee, at the very least, did not come cheap.

I waited by the gate, resigned to my fate.

"Hey Weiss."

God dammit Yang.

"Good afternoon, Jaune," I sighed. Just get this day over with Weiss. Just one lousy date. Okay, your _first ever _date. But hey, first dates tend to be lousy right? Two birds, one stone and whatnot.

The romantic in me became hopeless that day.

We walked together. A solid six inch distance was kept between him and I. There were couples all around us trying the various food and game stalls. Jaune pointed to many. I declined them all. There wasn't a fun bone in my body today and my stomach had lost all appetite.

I checked my scroll. Only ten minutes had past.

Just kill me now. Please.

Before long we entered the weapons building. Jaune insisted on going in there.

Sure. Fine. Whatever.

He led me up the stairs where I saw peculiar banners hanging off from a doorway entrance.

By the Goddess of Victory herself…

'_Welcome to Pyrrha Nikos and Yang Xiao Long's Cat-Eared Maid Cafe!'_

"Who the heck made this abomination!" My outburst caught the eyes of a few but it wasn't long before I realized another shared my sentiments.

"Agreed, comrade!" It was Blake, dressed in jungle fatigues, a red beret, with a bandolier sash. "The filthy humes have turned our people into a fetish! Cat-ears… next think you know they'll start strapping furry cat paws on or wear dog suits. First they strip our rights… then they send us to work in labor camps mining out dust for their stupid mega-corporation Schn- Oh hey Weiss."

Blake took off her extremely black sunglasses. I'm not being racist, it's an observation.

"Blake… hello…" I greeted cautiously. Blake laughed as if she did not just begin insulting all humans and my family's company in a highly political rant.

"These glasses are so thick and black it's hard to see through." She eased. See? Observation.

She turned her head towards my… companion. "Oh! On your date with Jaune I see," she smirked. "How's the date going, big guy?"

"Uh… better than expected?" Jaune grinned. "Weiss hasn't slapped me ye-"

_Slap!_

"So," I said dryly, changing the topic. "I imagine you're unhappy because of the cat-ears?"

"So true honorary faunus sister!" The faunus scoffed. "The filthy blonde-I mean-Yang thinks she can toss on a pair of ears onto someone and it makes them look '_cuter_'! As if… ah, Sister Velvet!"

The second year girl squeaked up. I hadn't even noticed her standing behind Blake all the while.

"Y-Yes, Commander Belladonna?"

"Give these two some of the loot we managed to raid," Blake said.

"Yes ma'am," said Velvet as she fumbled through her box. "H-Here you go," she said with a soft bow before retreating back behind Blake.

It was two pieces of paper with _Maid Cafe_ written in big bold letters with fine print.

"They're tickets to the maid cafe! Surprised? Don't be! Yang told me to sell them but ha! Jokes on her! Instead I'm giving them away! The fool doesn't realize-"

"Blake." I began softly as I read the fine print.

"- I'm ruining her capitalistic exploitation of faunus-"

"Blake."

"-image by undercutting her ticket prices!"

God dammit. "Blake!"

"Yes, Honorary Faunus Weiss?"

I held a piece of paper up. "These are coupons. 20% off any meal." I explained. "You weren't distributing tickets. You were distributing coupons."

I was met with silence.

And then some more silence.

Wow. I didn't know it was possible to turn that shade of red. Huh. Must be a faunus thing.

Pulling Jaune inside, I decided to leave it to Velvet to calm down an enraged Blake.

"Come on," I said. "I think I'm finally hungry."

Behind the doors, Ruby greeted us and offered up a warm towel. She was wearing a rather charming butler suit. I have to say, the short hair really goes well with the masculine uniform.

Wiping my hands with it, I asked for a table for two.

"Right this way, ma'am," Ruby chirped with the utmost professionalism. She gestured with her arms into the direction of the cafe interior. It was a refitted classroom, but with drapes to separate the tables. It was as if we were dining in our own cloth rooms.

"You look cute, Ruby," Jaune commented.

Ruby blushed as crimson as her tie. "Th-thanks," she murmured softly as she held the menu over her face. "Th-this way please…"

I elbowed Jaune. I didn't look him in the eye. He knew what he did wrong.

"_Ouch_! What did I do!?"

Idiot. Playing dumb doesn't work on a Schnee.

Ruby led us to our table, and waited to take our orders. I had a Winter Wonderland Shake while Jaune had an Orange Bang. For our mains, we both decided on the omelette fried rice. With a bow, Ruby promised us she would get the best maid to service us.

Oh boy. I can only imagine…

Pyrrha came, wearing a dress way too short, with thigh-high stockings and all the frills. It was black. Her blushing became brighter and brighter as she approached us with our drinks and food.

"S-Sorry for the wait," Pyrrha apologized with a blush. What was she even apologizing for?

"It's cool," Jaune reassured. "You look cute in that outfit."

Pyrrha held the tray to cover her face.

I kicked Jaune under the table.

"Ow!" He turned wildly to look at me, mouth agape.

"Just eat," I snarled.

"W-wait!" Pyrrha pleaded. She stepped forward and with a hand over her chest took a deep breath. "I-I need to make a magic c-charm first…"

She made a heart with her hands. Jaune was captivated. I just wanted to eat.

"Pyrrha?" Jaune was clueless. Red as a cherry, Pyrrha squeezed her eyes shut.

"M-Magic Ch-Charm!"

Jump.

"Tasty!"

Jump.

"Tasty!"

May Heaven and Earth strike me dead now…

_Boom!_

I didn't mean literally.

There was an explosion of smoke as the curtains were blown away. At the entrance to the classroom cafe was Blake, sporting her jungle fatigues and barette.

"This is Commander Blake of the Faunus Liberation Front! We've had enough for your shenanigans and how you fetishize our innate features! Velvet! Get the bomb!"

"Y-yes, Commander…"

There it was. A bomb. A small tiny package set with a timer. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Welp.

Here I lived. And here I die. Sincerely yours, Weiss Schnee.

"Weiss, get down!" Jaune yelled at me as Pyrrha covered me with her arms. I saw him leap at the bomb, and sprawling over it with his body.

Time slowed down.

My judgement is final: Yang gets the death sentence. Twice.

Blake screamed. Velvet sighed. Pyrrha was crying.

_Boooom!_

* * *

><p>I smell like rotting fish.<p>

It was a _stink_ bomb. Not an actual explosive. Blake thought the timer would add to the cinematic feel. She just wanted to close down the cafe, anyway. No one was supposed to get hurt.

Well, Jaune ended up getting knocked out by getting sprayed in the face with a gust of pure unadulterated muck.

And so here I am, in the nurse's office.

The idiot's asleep in bed. He's been that way for the past few hours. This is the quietest I've ever seen him. It's different.

Not that I mind.

Soon midnight will come and I'll be outta here. Take a shower, draw a long hot bath... maybe I'll even buy a tub of vanilla ice cream and drown my sorrows in dairy soaked misery.

Just five minutes until midnight. Then this stupid auction-contract is over and I can leave…

Jaune started to stir.

"W-Weiss? Where am I?"

"You took a skunk fart to the face." Literally. "Then you passed out and we plopped you onto a bed to rest," I explained.

"Where's Pyrrha?"

I looked outside the window. They were having the school folk dance now. There was a bonfire in the courtyard. I saw Pyrrha doing a folk dance with Ruby, both of them giggling and blushing.

"Dancing with some guy," I lied for no particular reason.

"Oh. That figures," Jaune mumbled as he laid back down in bed. "It's almost midnight isn't it?"

"Yep." Then I'm gone. Out. You ain't never gonna see a snowflake vanish as quick as me.

"You can go now if you want. I'll probably just sleep here and go back in the morning," Jaune said with a yawn. "I'm actually pretty comfy…"

I peered at him cautiously.

"Letting me off so easily? I thought you'd want to spend as much time with me as possible."

Jaune rubbed his chin.

"It's fine. Just go."

"What?"

Was Jaune really telling me to leave? There was still some time left. I was certain he'd make me go down and have a dance with him… in front of everyone… parade me around…

What the hell?

"You're going to bore yourself if you stay here," Jaune explained turning over on the bed with his back to me. "Just go down to the dance," he sighed again.

"Didn't you buy me to show me off?"

"What? No."

"Then… why?"

Jaune was silent for a moment.

"I overheard a couple of who-must-not-be-named saying they were going to buy you and make you cling to that guy's arm all day." He said, his voice thinly laced with anger. "It sounded pretty humiliating… so I thought the only sensible thing to do was to outbid them."

He turned to me and gave a wry smile. "You know, it was kind of hard to convince my dad I was going to pay to have a girl go out with me. He's the kind of why buy-the-cow-when-you-get-the-milk-for-free kind of guy... my mom and sisters were ecstatic though."

"Wait. So you bought me so some other guy couldn't go out with me?"

"Don't make it sound like I'm so possessive."

"You… you…"

I was stunned.

_You idiot._

Jaune continued to speak. "You know I just don't have to eat lunch for a few weeks is all… and pay off my sisters by playing tea with them or... something."

I sighed.

"You gigantic idiot…"

I shifted off the chair and seated myself on the bed. His smell was still repulsive, but I didn't feel like getting away from him at this particular moment. Besides, it's not like I smelt that much better right now either.

"Weiss. Just go have fun."

"I will in a bit."

The clock neared midnight.

"Hey, Jaune."

"Yeah?"

"I'll make you lunch."

"B-but-"

"Shut up."

"Yes ma'am."

One minute past midnight.

And still I remained.

Two minutes.

Three.

"Jaune?"

"Mm?"

"Come on," I tugged his sleeve. "I feel like dancing."

* * *

><p><em>Date Auction Fin<em>

**Author's Notes:** _The r/RWBY Monthly Contest is now voting. Please. Vote for my fic, Beloved Cooking. Of course, vote for me only if you feel my fic is the superior fic that deserves to triumph over the others._

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_But seriously. ;_; vote the one you feel is da best (ONLY DA BEST = MINE)._

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